Talladega Nights Movie Lines

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Talladega Nights movie lines rating: PG-13

"America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad ass speed. - Eleanor Roosevelt, 1936"

"All yall, that's pretty much in a shell what it's like to manage a Waffle House."

"Next up is Ricky Bobby. Ricky, is your father here? "

"No ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years. But, my mama say he's out racing cars and well... dippin' his wick anything that moves."

"Shake and bake. You'll be my best friend forever..."

"Hey there boy! Well hey, you're big! How long has it been? Three or four months?"

"Ten years."

"Ten years... Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.

"Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here!

"Ah... it's ok darlin', I'm a volunteer fireman."

"This is the bottom line. We don't get that car back on the track, our sponsors are gunna shit a chicken! Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast. Anybody?"

"I want to go fast."

"Eh... Gettem' a suit!"

"His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby."

"Ricky Bobby? He's got two first names!"

"Absolutely ma'am, I'd love to sign your baby!"

"Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby! Christmas is right around the corner. What better gift to give a loved one, then the Jack Hawk 9000! Available at Wal-Mart..."

"When you work on your mysterious lady part stuff, you should have the right tools, too. That's you should use Maypax. The official tampon of NASCAR."

"Hey I'm Ricky Bobby, if you don't chew Big Red then F--K YOU!"

"Dear tiny Jesus... with your... golden fleece diapers, with your tiny little fat balled fist..."

"I wet my bed 'till I was nineteen. Ain't no shame in that!"

"We go together like cocaine and waffles!"

"We created the missionary position. ... You're welcome."

"Room's startin' to spin real fast... 'cause of... 'cause of gayness."

"But let just quote the late great Colonel Sanders who said 'I'm too drunk to taste this chicken..."

"Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor who he wouldn't push, has hung a Fig Newton sticker on his windshield!"

"This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons."

"So when you say 'psychosomatic', you mean like... he could start a fire! ... With his thoughts?"

"You'll have live rabbits bein' pooped out on to a track!"

"Ricky? Remember, a field mouse is fast, but an owl sees at night."

"Close the door or come in! I got weed in here, cowboy!"

"One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!"

"You show me the DNA test, maybe I'll say hi to these swamp rats!"

"Do it Dad, get your balls back."

"Fine... but, I ain't callin' you Daddy."

"Well, what you gunna call me?"

"Alright 'Professor Dickweed'... what's the plan?

"You gotta learn to drive... with the fear. And there ain't nothin' more God damned frightening, than drivin' with a live cougar in the car."

"Why do you like listenin' to the T.V, with the stereo on?"

"'Cause... I like to party."

"Why did ya throw another bucket on me!?"

"Wel... I did fill up three!"

"We have so much to be thankful for. First off, my sons no longer act like retarded gang bangers, also, I got my balls back behind a wheel of a car."

"Things were goin' good, weren't they!?"

"That's exactly why I had to blow it up! I don't know what organ or bone people have that makes'em act right, but I was born without it. I'm no good..."

"I've moved on. Sent my application in to the real world. So, I hopin' to hear back from that. I'm putting a lot of my eggs in that basket... the MTV basket. I'm also thinkin' about gettin' a gun. And, dealin' crack. Being a crack dealer. But not a mean crack dealer. But, like... a nice one."

"Are we about to get it on? 'Cause I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now."

"Everyone turn away! Things are gunna get crazy..."

"They are like twins... born from different wombs."

"Abbracadabbra, holmes..."

"Time to let the cougar loose!"

"It was like a tractor beam of hotness..."

"Well, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather..."

"Well said, Grandson, I'll take that as a compliment."

"Yep! Ya... I think... things are pretty much perfect, right now. It's makin' me a little itchy..."

Talladega Nights Review

Director: Adam McKay

Writers: Will Ferrell and Adam McKay

Released: August 4, 2006

Movie length: 108 / 122 minutes (unrated version)

Cast: Gary Cole - Reese Bobby

Jane Lynch - Lucy Bobby

Jason Davis - Waffle House Manager

Jake Johnson - 5-year-old Ricky

Lorrie Bess Crumley - Schoolteacher

Luke Bigham - 10-Year-Old Ricky

Austin Crim - 10-Year-Old Cal

Michael Clarke Duncan - Lucius Washington

Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby

John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton, Jr.

Adam McKay - Terry Cheveaux

David Koechner - Herschell

Ian Roberts - Kyle

Jack McBrayer - Glenn

John D. King - ESPN Reporter

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