Knocked Up Movie Lines

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Knocked Up movie lines rating: R

"Alright listen... you don't shave your beard or cut your hair for one year, and if you don't do that I will pay your rent. But if you shave, you have to pay all five of our rents."

"Thanks for the free money, bitch."

"Was it weird when you joined the Taliban being American and everything like that?"

"Your face looks like Robin Williams knuckles."

"It's like the best medicine. 'Cause it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once, but we just got high and... it still clicks but I mean it's ok, ya know?"

"I'm pregnant..."

"Fuck off."



"I'm pregnant."

"With emotion?"

"With a baby, you're the father."

"You know what I think you should do? Take care of it..."

"Tell me you don't want him to get an 'A' word... ?"

"Yes, I do and I won't say it for little baby ears over there, but it rhymes with 'shush-mortion'."

"What the fuck man! If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gunna fuckin' lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom Jay, I took a shit, my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!"

"Where do you think they come from?"

"I think the stork... he umm, he drops it down. And then a hole goes in your body and there's blood everywhere coming out of your head, and then you push your belly button, and then your butt falls off, and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find a little baby."

"How ya doin'?"

"Breathin' like James Gandolfini over here..."

"That is... not your vagina, that's your asshole! That happens about five times a day."

"You want me to quit smokin' pot 'cause there's an earthquake every ten years?"

"You can get pink eye from farting on a pillow?"


"That's awesome."

"Ya... but you gotta be bare assed."

"Jesus... Martin got it bad, what did someone take a dump right in your eye?"

"No... no pink eye for me. I'm just really high."

"You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth."

"Well played, sir."

"Granted, gynecology is just a hobby of mine, but it sounds like to me she's crowning."

"You ever get so bored you stare at your balls?"

"I bet you do, late John Lennon."

Knocked Up Review

Director: Judd Apatow

Writers: Judd Apatow

Released: June 1, 2007

Movie length: 133 minutes (unrated DVD version) USA:129 minutes

Cast: Seth Rogen - Ben Stone

Katherine Heigl - Alison Scott

Paul Rudd - Pete

Leslie Mann - Debbie

Jason Segel - Jason

Jay Baruchel - Jay

Jonah Hill - Jonah

Martin Starr - Martin

Charlyne Yi - Jodi

Maude Apatow - Sadie

Joanna Kerns - Alison’s Mom

Harold Ramis - Ben's Dad

Alan Tudyk - Jack

Kristen Wiig - Jill

Bill Hader - Brent

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