American Splendor Movie Lines
American Splendor Movie lines rating: R∞"Alright, this guy here? He's our man. All grown up and goin' nowhere. Although he's a pretty scholarly cat, he never got much of a formal education. For the most part, he's lived in shit neighborhoods. Held shit jobs. And, is now knee deep into a disastrous second marriage. So... if your the kind of person lookin' for romance or escapism, or some fantasy figure to save the day, guess what... you got the wrong movie."
"Here's are man. Ya... alright, here's me. The guy playing me, anyway. Though he don't look nothin' like me, but whatever..."
"I'm livin' like the stoic bird man."
"It's breaking ground man. There's some wild shit in here, Bob."
"... You're spitting on me Harvey."
"Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff."
"Now there is a reliable disappointment."
"Brand new decade, same old bullshit."
"Sister Mary Fred? Is she cute? Sounds kinda mannish, but who I am to be picky?"
"I was more alone that weekend than any. Sometimes in my asleep, I'd feel a body next to me, like an amputee feels a phantom limb."
"Alright... ok... I'm gunna hustle, before the vibe in here gets any worse."
"So we finally meet in person. Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat I had a vasectomy."
"Harvey, would you get me some water and a few aspirin?
What do you got, a headache?
No... but I want to avoid one."
"What movie could possibly be worth driving two hundred and sixty miles round trip for? ... It's a new film called 'Revenge Of The Nerds'. It's about a group of nerd college students, who are being picked on all the time, by the jocks. So they decide to take revenge."
"So what your saying is, you identify with those nerds."
"Yes, I consider myself a nerd, and this movie has uplifted me!"
"What kind of girl is your new brid, is she a nerd?"
"See? I wasn't even married a month and my old lady was already showing signs of trouble."
"Granted, I tend to get married fast 'cause I'll take any woman that will have me. But this time, I really met my match."
"Variety called me 'the blue collar Mark Twain.'"
"Do you have to hold my hand?"
"What are you embarrassed of me? I know, I know, I know... I'm embarrassing. I felt the same way about my father.
"No Harvey, it's just when you hold my hand, you squeeze it too hard."
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